Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Very Bad Reality Shows on Cable TV

Sean and Davina hit a rough spot on cable TV’s reality series “Married at First Sight” last night but not to worry because noted sociologist Dr. Pepper Schwartz, University of Washington professor, was on the scene to investigate.  Suspicions instantly arose when the good doctor found the fridg bare except for a soda can and potato chips and there were no family photos on the wall.  It looked like they were only staying for the weekend. She immediately put the recently betrothed on notice and enrolled them in a cooking class so they can hopefully bond.
Such is the state of matrimony in the Big Apple that couples are resorting to cable TV where they can star in their own mini-dramas while avoiding the pesky cost of dating.  It also silences family and friends who nag them about being single.  The first time they laid eyes on each other was at the altar and then it was too late to turn back without creating a nasty scene.  In the case of Shawn, eyes are the only thing he has laid on Davina after a month, but Dr Pepper is frothy with optimism.  Davina remains unconcerned about Shawn’s disinterest.  After all she’s getting weekly exposure on cable.  The sky’s the limit.  We truly live in amazing times particularly when we have friends like Gary H. who invite me over to watch cable TV.

The Belle of the South was relaxing in bed with a coke and potato chips when the doorbell rang on the cable TV reality show “Arranged.”  Surprise; it was the mama inlaw calling to investigate her new daughter inlaw’s domesticity deficiencies.  Sadly things were amiss in the newlyweds love nest including dirt on the ceiling fan and the bride hadn’t made Beauregard’s favorite casserole.  Good news:  Mom was staying the weekend to set things straight.  You can’t top that for southern hospitality or chutzpa.
With last night’s “Arranged Marriage,” I shared the concerns of a Gypsy family’s aggressive plans to find spouse’s for their teenage sons even if the boys were disinterested.  Much to every one’s chagrin we learned that 17-year-old boys generally are poor husband material, but the parents charged ahead without changing course.  It’s tradition, don’t you know!
Some of this had to scripted and rehearsed because no one could be that stupid.  Stay tuned.